Chapter Four
We Can’t Do It Alone
“Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with
warm hearts and friendly hands.”
(D&C 121:9)
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A few years ago, as I woke from a
good night’s sleep, my mind was focused on a dream that I had just had. As I recalled the events that had just played
out in the theater of my mind, I realized that there was a message in the story
that I had just experienced. Being that
most of my dreams make little since, I couldn’t help but ponder upon what I was
feeling and understanding.
The dream began with me seeing that
a car had driven off a nearby cliff and plunged into a lake that was located
just below the towering landscape. In
the depths of the water was a young lady that had escaped the car and in need
of my help. I stood on the banks of the
river wanting to go in and rescue her but due to the danger of the circumstance
that would put my own life in jeopardy and not give her the help she needed, I knew that if I attempted to go after her
that the goal of saving her life might not be reached. Desperate to offer any help that I could, I
stood on the dark bank and yelled as loudly as I could for her to swim in my
direction. It wasn’t long till I realized
that she couldn’t hear my voice. I could
see her and hear her, but she was unable to hear me. So anxious to find a way to lead her from the
grasp of the freezing waters I began waving my arms and jumping up and down so
she could see me. It seemed to
work. She responded by moving in my
direction. I continued to make as much
movement as I could to keep her attention until she was close enough to hear my
voice. Finally it happened, she was able
to slowly swim in my direction arriving to a point where she could hear me and
know that I was shouting words of encouragement to keep her from giving
up. She finally arrived at the bank and
I was able to take her in my arms.
Though she had been injured during the fall from the cliff and was tired
and cold, she was okay and was excited that she had survived this tragic fall. At one point she was too far away to hear my
words of encouragement, but through my actions she was able to slowly move in
the right direction.
We can’t do it alone. There are times when we are growing up when we feel
alone or left out. Times of change are growing-up times: things like moving,
changing schools, going on a mission, a new calling, a job change, having a
baby, having your baby go on a mission, a serious illness, and losing someone
you love. We have always tried to teach
our children that someone always cares about them. It may not always be the people they want to
have caring about them, but there is always someone who is there and who cares
and that will never change. We all need
people who care.
As a teenager I would often attend the High School Friday night football
games with a group of friends from school.
They were not members of the Church and did not have the same standards,
but they were good kids as far as I knew.
I sat with them and laughed with them.
A few were smoking cigarettes and one sitting by me had been smoking a
cigar. When I returned home that night I
was met with all kinds of questions from my parents. I hadn’t done anything wrong so I wasn’t sure
what was on their minds. After our
discussion of the evening’s events my parents told me that a member of the ward
was concerned about the crowd I was with and called them to let them know what
they had seen. I can tell you that I
didn’t want that person caring so much about me, but I understand now that it
was their love and concern that prompted the phone call to my parents.
In our life the degrees of our
testimonies will vary. We are all at
different stages of growth. We have been given the gift of the Spirit of Christ
at birth. We have a testimony which we have developed throughout our lives
which we have obtained through the help of the Holy Ghost. We may know that God
lives and that Jesus is the Christ. We may know that he gave his life for our
redemption, that he is resurrected that we might live, and that he is alive
today. We may know that Joseph Smith has restored The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints in the last dispensation of the fullness of time. We may know
that President Thomas S. Monson is a prophet of God who has all the keys of the
priesthood vested in him to lead this church by revelation in these latter
days. Yet, with all of this knowledge, why is it that some of us fail to learn
the very critical point that we did not come to this life to live it alone
We were with our Heavenly Father before we came to this life. The
scriptures tell us so. We also know that we chose to take a physical body, to
come to earth for this mortal experience, to live His commandments, and to have
opposition in all things. The opposition which we must have is to help make us
strong physically and spiritually.
One summer day my husband and I began a Saturday chore of pruning the
Bradford Pair trees in the front of our home. It was a hot, muggy
With sweat drenched clothing and a need for many breaks, I began to see
that this project was huge and would most likely take a couple of Saturdays to
complete. As I sat there contemplating the overwhelming task at hand, one of our
neighbors, who happened to be a member of our ward, came youthfully jogging
by. I smiled and he nodded his head to
say hello and continued on his run. “Youth,
that golden ticket of energy” I thought, what a treasure I would love to have
returned at that very moment.
Needing to go back to the assistance of my husband, I picked myself up
determined that with rest we could complete our goal. While rising to stand I noticed someone
walking towards us. The young man that
had been jogging moments earlier was now coming towards us with tools in hand. As I looked up and greeted him, he asked,
“Could you use an extra hand?” Clearing
the sweat (or tears) from our eyes, we sighed with an over excited exclamation
of “YES”.
He began to help us and said his younger brother would be over in a
moment as well. We worked long and hard
for many more hours. We ended up having to take four loads of tree brush to the
dump and they were with us through it all. I often wondered if the job was
bigger than they had anticipated, but they stayed till it was completed with
light in their eyes.
These dear, kind hearted young men were our Good Samaritans. They could have been out doing what young men
do on a Saturday, but they were helping us.
During the course of the job I asked them if their parents had made them
come over and they replied, “No, they aren’t even home.”
What joy filled my heart to have these young men come to help in our time
of need. I don’t believe we could have
completed what we started that day without them. Time constraints and strength
limitations were in against us. With the
help of these young men we were able to overcome the opposition we faced. We were very grateful we didn’t have to do it
alone.
This represents a physical example of needing the help of others, but our
spiritual need is even greater. Robert
D. Hales taught: “It is also God’s plan
that we cannot return to his presence alone, without the help of someone
else. We each have a mission in this
life of which cannot be embarked upon successfully without the help of others.
Birth requires earthly parents. Our blessing as a child, our baptism, our
receiving the laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost, our receiving
membership in his church, ordination to the priesthood, going on a mission,
being married, having children of our own, blessings during illness and times
of need—all require the help of
others. And all these are acts of love and service which require the help of
others and the giving of help to others.” (Robert D. Hales,
“We Can’t Do It Alone,” Ensign, Nov. 1975, 90)
A loving and just God has placed us here where we experience suffering
and imperfection all around us. It is necessary because in this life we
experience something we cannot do any other place. The life we had before and
the life we will have hereafter will leave our bodies, spirits, and minds in a
more perfect state. But we did not and will not have the opportunities to give
of ourselves in the same way as we can in this life. What a simple truth of a
gospel principle! As we suffer and serve in this life, we are fulfilling a very
essential part of the gospel plan. When
we attempt to live life’s experiences alone, we are not being fair to ourselves
or to others. Trials are a part of the
mortal experience. Our Heavenly Father
has made it so that we need never deal with the challenges of mortality alone.
In Doctrine & Covenants 121:9 we read, “Thy
friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and
friendly hands.”
When I was 16 and living in
I had been to this building many times, but with someone else driving.
Not being behind the wheel was of course reason for not paying attention to our
route so, with directions in hand I headed for the games.
As I got downtown I began to panic.
I had taken a wrong turn and was no longer headed to where I needed to
be going. I didn’t know where I was or
how to get away from where I was without getting lost even more. So I quickly exited and found a phone to call
home. (This was in the ancient of days before cell phones.) It was a very daunting area and appeared to
not be as safe as I had thought it was before crawling out of my car. Nevertheless, I was there. I nervously put my coins into the phone and
anxiously dialed home. My nerves were in
knots and then I heard the sound on the other end of the phone say hello. “Dad”, I began to cry. “I am lost.”
With a comforting tone my father asked me where I was. I had absolutely no idea, after all, I was
lost! I remember he said, “Look around
you and tell me what you see.” I
remember looking around and not liking what I saw but I was able to give him
enough information that he was able to tell me exactly what I needed to do to
get back on the right road to reach my destination. Once there I phoned him again to let him know
that I arrived safely. Then again before
leaving I called him so we could review the way home and he would know to be
watching for me. I knew that he would
come to get me if I didn’t show up after an allotted time and I knew he would
be waiting for me to arrive home safely.
I am so grateful that my dad was there for me. I am likewise grateful that my Father in
Heaven is always there for me too.
Calling home to report where I am and get directions for where I am
trying to go has always been a great blessing to me. I have gotten lost from time to time, but all
I have to do is call my Heavenly Father through prayer and he will direct my
path once again. He has promised, “As
often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit”
(D&C 6:14). We can’t do it alone.
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