As
I look into my bathroom mirror each morning, I see two things. First, my
physical reflection. Second, a small note taped to the mirror reminding me of
my New Year’s resolution.. It reads simply; I am in control of my life every day.
I’m
in control? What kind of resolution is
that? Last year’s decree was “Have I
Done Any Good in the World Today?” a question to remind me to evaluate at the
end of each day with a little more kindness and a little less selfishness. The year before the pledge was to “Choose the
Better Part” as I had awakened to the fact that it was no longer enough to
choose the good part, but I needed to raise the bar and choose the “better”
part.
So
why did I choose the somewhat snobbish sounding resolution statement, “I’m in control”? Had I ever been in control? Was this a statement of conviction or a timid
attempt to convince myself not to be easily influenced by others.
In
a desperate plea to answer my own questions, I began to reflect on an
experience from a previous morning. On this particular occasion while preparing
for the day, I became all too aware of the changes that were taking over in my
physical body. The “fall” had manifested
itself in me partly through science which my body was now obeying the law of
gravity only not to be out done by another law referred to as “thermal expansion.” The term “thermal expansion” refers to the
increase in size of an object as that object is heated. With relatively few
exceptions, all objects expand when they are heated and contract when they are
cooled. I concluded at that point that I was expanding, but in my second breath
I realized that that simply stated meant I may not be as cool as I once was but
that I was “HOT” in the terms of my teenage children.
As
I stood laughing at my own humor and looking at this fallen and expanding
silhouette of a woman I realized that the fall was going to happen like it or
not, but the “expansion” could be controlled. I thought, just because I’m 5 ft
tall, have 6 children and find myself in
that so called “middle age” stage of life was certainly not a good
enough reason for me to start gaining weight.
How could a few numbers on the scale of life no longer reflect the years
of diet and exercise? What had gone terribly wrong? Moments after my “it isn’t fair” speech, I reached over beside
my bed , pulled out a giant size chocolate bar, stuffed half of it in my mouth
and proclaimed that I shouldn’t have to exercise in order to enjoy such a
succulent dessert as chocolate.
Who
was or wasn’t in control as to what happened to that candy bar?
When
I was finished making every excuse I could think of to justify my taste for the
finest of foods being none other than chocolate, I realized that it was more
than an “age” issue, it was a ‘me” issue.
It was me that said I would start eating healthier tomorrow; it was me
that said I would exercise more tomorrow.
Beyond that, I was the one that said I would read my scriptures after a
TV show goes off only to find that I was then too tired to read more than a
couple of verses. I was the one that
waited till I was drop dead sleepy as I knelt beside my bed and mumbled out a
prayer. Yep, it was true, I had made
those choices.
While
it is our desire to let the Lord direct our lives and for us to turn our will
over to Him, He has still given us the gift of agency. So we are in control of our choices. The Lord
taught that one thing is needful: choose that good part (Luke 10:42).
Would
I waste away time I had been given or seek opportunities to enjoy, grow and
learn? We all are trying to choose the good part to balance the spiritual and
the temporal areas in our lives. Wouldn’t it be easy if we were choosing
between visiting teaching or stealing from our neighbor? Instead, our choices
are often more subtle. We must choose between many worthy options. But how do
we know what is the ‘good part’?
It seemed it had not been but a few years
earlier that my time had been carefully laid out before me and meticulously
accounted for. I was running here and
there with my children, I was serving in church callings and building
relationships with my family, friends and my Heavenly Father. I was involved in activities that provided a
very careful watch of each passing minute. Though life was hard and very busy;
the demands on my time were almost hand carved for me. I was feasting from a table where each course
was laid before me for my partaking.
The longer I sat at the table the more I would be fed. I was eating and
drinking from the well of good and plenty and felt my belly to be satisfied. Though I knew this wouldn’t last forever, I
wasn’t quite prepared for what was to come – an “empty nester” and painful
trials that I never could have imagined.
While
I still partake from the same table, the choices have now become a buffet with
insurmountable amount to choose from. How could I possibly decide what would be
best for me?
To
help illustrate my point let me share an interesting story I once read. I do not know how true it is but the example
will help make my point. The article
said this was a tradition that the Russian army once used. After a Russian soldier had gone through his
training, a big party was held for him at the barracks. It was his coming-out party, and the
tradition is that he had to demonstrate his manhood.
The
Russian barracks were five to six stories high.
They had great big windows, big enough for a man to stand in. The way a soldier could prove his manhood is
by drinking all night. He gets
absolutely stoned out of his mind.
Becoming totally inebriated was part of the test because the soldier was
to stand on the windowsill with his back to the five-story drop, and drink one
more bottle of beer all the way down without falling out of the window. If he could, he had proved his manhood.
I
share that example to preface this next statement. He who
leans out of a window to see how far he can lean without falling is stupid.
Would you agree with that? When making choices in our lives sometimes we are
going to find ourselves leaning out of a window and when we do, we better have
our mental and spiritual abilities sharpen so that we “DON’T” fall out of the
window. However, the better choice is to
keep from leaning out a window at all.
Doctrine
and Covenants 130:18-19 teaches us that “Whatever
principle of intelligence we attain unto this life, it will rise with us in the
resurrection. And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this
life through diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the
advantage in the world to come.”
Part
of that intelligence is coming to know where we want to go. I don’t think any
of us want to fall from a 5 story window.
But do we know where we want to go? Most of us do, but it’s up to us to make
choices that will move us in that direction. To be in control of our life, we must
practice control in thought and actions regardless of our situations. To do this we need to come to know our
Father. Come to love Him, and always remember that He loves us and will give us
guidance and support if we will but give Him the chance. We need to include Him
in our decision making. Include Him when we take inventory of our personal
worth. “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is
broken down, and without walls”
Proverbs 25:28.
How
many times have you heard the question, "What do you want to be when you
grow up?" As a teenager you tend to hear this question a lot, but you have
probably heard it since you were five years old. It is often connected to a
question like, "What are you good at?"
You
may also be asking yourself the same questions throughout your journey in this
life. You may find that you are sitting around one day minding your own
business when the question, "What am I going to do with my life?"
flits through your brain. And that is a good thing. You are in a position of
incredible power when you ask yourself questions like, "Who am I?"
and "Who do I want to become?" You are the only person who can answer
these questions. You, and only you, get to choose exactly who you will become
in the future.
Think
about that for a minute. The power of these questions lies in the fact that you
can choose to become anything you want! Imagine becoming anything. Think
about the freedom that gives you. You can pick almost any answer to the
question, "Who do I want to become? What do I want to become?” You can, to a large extent, design your life
completely. Choices like what will be my attitude toward life? What will be my
values? You get to make thousands of choices that will determine exactly who
you will become at any stage of your life.
Happiness,
enthusiasm, and joy in daily living are powerful motivators if we would move
forward and choose the good part. We all
have trials, tribulations and adversities that test us to the core of who we
are. We each should assess our own
situation, our own energy, and our own talents and then choose the better part.
Our Father in Heaven knows our needs, strengths, and desires. Around this
knowledge our personal course must be charted and our choices made.
As
a youth I memorized the poem by Robert Frost,
The Road Not Taken and the words have continued to resonated through me.
Frost captured the spirit of autumn delightfully. But his poem goes much deeper
than just the scenery as he describes a part of him a part of all of us. The use of the image of a path through the
woods is wonderfully suggestive of the way we journey through life, and the
choice of one path over another is a simple, elegant way to visualize the
decisions we all have to make on our trip from birth to death. I’ve always seen it as a brilliantly elegant
analogy for the passage of our lives. I
always try to take the final stanza to heart, and when “Two roads diverged in a
wood, and I took the one less traveled by.”
Dr.
Stephen R. Covey says, “Everyone chooses
one of two roads in life – the old and the young, the rich and the poor, men
and women alike. One is the broad, well-traveled road to mediocrity, the other
the road to greatness and meaning. The range of possibilities that exists
within each of these two destinations is as wide as the diversity of gifts and
personalities in the human family. But the contrast between the two
destinations is as the night is to the day.” (Dr. Stephen R. Covey, from
The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness)
Which
road did you choose, which road are you on now? Which road will you choose
next? Do you wish you had chosen the
other path? What influenced or does now influence your choices? Are you in
control enough to make the decision that will be best for you? Can you go back
and choose the other path? Do you need
to go back?
When
I served as the Young Women’s Stake Camp Director, part of my preparation
included mapping out a route that the young women would take in order to
certify for the hiking requirement. My plan was to visit the trail and map it
out so I could prevent obstacles before the time of the hike. With a friend by
my side, we traveled to the park a few months prior to girls camp to explore
the paths that the YW would be traveling.
We
arrived at the camp and found out where the hiking trails were located and
proceeded to drive to that destination. We parked our car, grabbed our water
and a snack and took off walking. While
strolling along and visiting, we quickly realized that we were not as prepared
as we thought. We had assumed that we
would get on the path, walk and return to where we started and be finished, But
to our surprise, this particular area had trails that divided all along the
way. We did not expect that we would have trail options. We found ourselves walking and walking and
just trying to decide as we came to a split in the trail which might be better
based on growth and shade. It was a good
walk, but I had not been prepared well enough to map the trail out for the
future travelers. I had pencil and paper
with me but it soon became a picture that resembled a maze of trails that gave
no direction. We never really knew which
way we were going.
Returning
home, knowing that I had not accomplished what I had set out to do, I returned
a few days later with my husband. We
first obtained a trail map that was supplied by the campgrounds. We noticed
from studying the mp that the splinter trails were merely just another pathway
but always led back to the main trail.
So with hiking boots, bug repellant, water and our map, we set off on
our journey. We relied on the trail map to help us evaluate which path seemed
to be the best route. After checking and
reviewing the different routes along the way, we learned that some paths were
longer and harder and were not traveled as often, however they seemed to have
more shade to shield a hiker from the Texas summer heat. So on the map, we made notes so that we could
chart a course that would be best to meet the needs of the hiking objective.
Finally
camp week was here and the girls were preparing for their hike. A map I had carefully prepared was given to
those who would be leaders of a group. Instructions were also given that
explained that if those leading got off the intended trail, there would be a
way back to the main path if they continued to move forward. It was not necessary to return to the fork in
the road and take the other path. My experience on the trail prior to camp
would serve as a great tool for those to follow.
For some, the hike went as planned, as for
other, they ended up walking much further than they needed too, but ultimately
they all arrived at the same appointed destination, tired and worn out, but
safely where they needed to be.
“Jacob said, “O how great the plan of our
God!” The Savior has “marked the path and lead the way.” I testify that as we hold on to our children
and follow the Savior’s lead, we will all return to our heavenly home and be
safe in our Heavenly Father’s arms.” (Stay on
the Path, Rosemary M. Wisom, Primary General President, October 2010)
How
wonderful it is that our Heavenly Father has set up His Church with maps and
guides to help us along the way. We know
that others have walked where we are walking and they will help us get to where
we want to go if we will but seek direction.
Sometimes we may get off the path we want to be on. Our Father in Heaven
knowing we would need help sent his Son, Jesus Christ, that through His
atonement we can repent and return to that straight and narrow pathway. As we search the scriptures and ponder and
pray we will find the strength to hold on to the iron rod. We have a living
Prophet, parents, leaders and friends that are here to help give assistance and
direction Their experiences help them to know what warnings and instructions
that we need to assist us in our mortal journey.
I
know that God lives and He does have a map for me. I know that I have not always walked the best
path as sometimes my choices have caused me to walk on pathways that were
harder than they could have been but I have ALWAYS found my way back to the
trail that will lead me home.
As
we hike on our daily trails it is important to know first, if you do not
already know, where you want your life to go. Don’t worry about how to get
there right now. The important thing at the moment is for you to know where you
want to go. Imagine you are in a car
that is moving but there is no steering wheel. It’s going places but you have
no control over where it is going. This is what your life is like if you don’t
know where you want to go. Your life is moving but you have no control. Once
you know where you want to go it’s like putting a steering wheel into your
life. Do you know where you want to go?
Second,
get directions. Just because you know where you want to end up doesn’t mean
that you know how to get there. The best way to get directions is to ask
someone who has been to where you want to go. The best types of people to ask
are the people that are successful in the areas of life that you want to be
successful in. They will give you advice and wisdom to know how to take control
and get to where you want to be. How
wonderful it is that our Heavenly Father has set up his Church with maps and
guides to help us along the way.
Third,
no longer be passive. You must be a very proactive person to keep or to take
back control of your life. You can no longer be submissive about the direction
of your life. By being passive you are giving the control of your life over to
anything and anyone. That is a very scary thing. Get bold. Get strong. Get
aggressive. No longer be passive about life, take control of it today by the
choices you make! You are in charge of your choices. That was agency allows.
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